One of these things doesn't fit the other.

Some conservative asshole is trying to claim Batman as one of their fellow right-wingers. I call shenanigans.

When I first read the title of the article, I snorted and rolled my eyes so hard, they almost fell out of my sockets and rolled away on the floor. How anyone in their right mind could think that Batman, a dark, complex character that has held the public's imagination for countless years, could be anything like the idiot in office? I almost dismissed the article completely, but really, it's the Trainwreck Syndrome. You WANT to look away, you WANT to run the other way, but you stand there, jaw agape, eyes the size of saucers, because you really CAN'T believe that you're seeing what you're seeing.

"There seems to me no question that the Batman film "The Dark Knight," currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past."

Oh boy. Where do I even start? I first have to laugh at the fact that this author put the words "fortitude" and "moral courage" in front of George W. Bush's name. Wouldn't be my first choice of words to describe him, but okay. My second reaction stems from the idea that this author seems to think that when Bush "pushes the boundaries of civil rights" that he has intentions of restoring them. I would really like to know what alternate universe the author is living on, because it sounds like it would be a total blastie. However, I live in a little world called reality, and Bush doesn't give a goddamn shit about our civil rights and liberties. In fact, he's pretty much everything he could while in his office to strip us of said civil rights and liberties, pushing for legislation that will have this effect even AFTER he finally leaves office, so please Mr. Conservative Asshole Author, don't tell me that our Fair Leader is noble and cares about the citizens of this country and their rights, because he DOESN'T.

"Why is it then that left-wingers feel free to make their films direct and realistic, whereas Hollywood conservatives have to put on a mask in order to speak what they know to be the truth? Why is it, indeed, that the conservative values that power our defense -- values like morality, faith, self-sacrifice and the nobility of fighting for the right -- only appear in fantasy or comic-inspired films like "300," "Lord of the Rings," "Narnia," "Spiderman 3" and now "The Dark Knight"?"

Please. As if values like morality, faith, and self-sacrifice are set aside SOLELY for the conservative right. I hardly think that starting an unjustifiable war, spying on Americans, stripping away the reproductive rights of women, and ignoring the very real threat of global warming qualifies under morality, faith, and self-sacrifice. Speaking of this self-sacrifice, what in the motherfuck has Bush sacrificed while in office? Because I would seriously, seriously like an answer for this that is not complete and utter bullshit. The man lives like a fucking king while the rest of this country falls prey to ridiculously high gas prices, rising food prices, and a housing crisis. He has the privilege of sending millions to die in a war that we shouldn't have started in the first place, and the worst part? He lies and lies, and actually manages to fall asleep at night, believing that he's doing the right thing.

Batman doesn't do this. Batman agonizes over his decisions, questions if he's doing the right thing. Batman seeks the counsel of those that he trusts, such as Alfred, and in the film, Lucius, expects them to give him a perspective that he may not be in the position to see himself. He never takes the easy road, and truly thinks of what is best for his community, even if it means that he will put in the place of a villain. George W. Bush WISHES that he could be even a TENTH as awesome as Batman.

And as a comic book nerd, I would like to kindly say this. Conservatives, back the FUCK away from my comics. You wouldn't understand their moral complexities if I beat you with a stack of them repeatedly. Although I will say this...I am VERY curious as to what the conservative right will have to say about Watchmen. That'll be GLORIOUS.